Saying Goodbye to 2014

9 Jan

It is a new year, and frankly, I am just not sure how I feel about it. In the midst of getting dressed up for dinner and ringing in the new year with strong drinks and good friends, I found myself wishing that the ball wouldn’t drop and that 2014 wouldn’t end after counting down from 10 out loud. Sure, being held and kissed at midnight was nice. No, it was great. However, something from 2014 had a hold of me, and it was not ready for me to cross over into a new year without it…

2014 was an interesting year for me. It was a year of many valleys – an abusive relationship, a 7-day engagement, visiting an ER in another country, an 8-day hospital stay a week later, developing serum sickness from Humira, just to name a few…. (I am not sure that I want to spend much time explaining these experiences – and the reason I did not blog during 2014.)

2014 also delivered some pretty awesome moments. Ringing in my 30th birthday with my best friend in Vegas and LA, spending time in Nashville with a good friend, quitting my job, starting a new career adventure, welcoming my 3rd niece into the world, working in London, working in Canada, working in New York, going on a blind date that turned into so much more than I ever could have expected. 2014 was not all bad, but some kinda of negativity washed over me as the clock struck twelve.  While everyone around me cheered, it took all I had to hold back tears.

I can’t imagine that I am apprehensive or nervous about 2015. So far, the new year looks quite promising with Crohn’s in remission, IBD-C in a bit more of a controlled state, plans to be debt free again, and 3-4 week-long vacations in the works.  I hope that simply by admitting I wasn’t ready for 2015 to be here will dissipate whatever negativity is left floating around.  Here is to letting go for 2014 and facing the new year with a brave face and high hopes.

~Signed, a cautiously optimistic Litz

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