Riding the Roller Coaster – Day 2

9 Nov

Today’s passage assimilated life to a roller coaster – not a unique analogy by any stretch.  However, what did strike me as noteworthy was the detail around the roller coaster’s wheels engaging with the metal tracks to keep the cars on the ride.  Ultimately, when going around a sharp curve the car tips over, leaving half of the wheel to lift off the track.  Its remaining wheels engage, usually with a show of sparks, to keep the passengers on board for another dip in the road, or another hairpin turn.  The passengers, never having realized the risk they just faced, simply coast through the danger in search of the next thrill with hands in the air.  

This made me stop and think about my life – ultimately realizing that I am no longer the thrill seeker in my own world.  I am the nervous passenger noticing my wheels off the track – focused on and heavily inspecting the risks and potential consequences.  I’ve realized that I no longer take big risks in any aspect of my life; it appears that I am approaching my life with a guarded heart and even head today.  These risks become giants that paralyze me with fear.

This is going to change – and its going to change now.  I could recite a plethora of reasons for having a protected attitude towards life, but the purpose of this challenge is to let go of that, face my giants head up – and live like there’s no tomorrow.    So, here goes.  I’m going to break free of the Someday Syndrome – I am eliminating the idea of “getting around to it” or “doing it someday”.  From today on, I’m going to start putting myself out there again – at work, with friends, and in love.

My biggest regret is waiting on living my life for the perfect moment.  Waiting on the perfect opportunity at work, waiting for the right social situations, waiting for Mr. Right to find me.  What in the world have I been waiting for?  I’m getting myself in the right mindset for what’s to come, what I’m going to do myself, what I’m going to continue to build for myself.  The mindset to be fully engaged in life – live in the moment – live the life I had imagined.

As a visual person, I think that “living in the moment” and “being engaged in life” would feel a lot like what dancing would feel like.  Painful like teaching your body to move, bend and stretch in unnatural ways.  Painful life bruising, blistering and breaking your feet.  Peaceful like gliding through the motions in sync with the music.  Freeing to express yourself through the image of words.  Beautiful to wear the costumes of a ballerina.  So to keep me going, my “roller coaster” will be learning to dance again.  I doubt I’ll learn to dance again within 30-days given medical complications… but my goal at the end of these 30-days is to feel as engaged in life as I did when I was dancing.

 

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